It has come to my attention that there are certain individuals who seem to believe that coercing a deity into a spousal relationship (assuming it’s even possible) is a good idea. One such individual posted at The Cauldron forum today, bemoaning the fact that they “want Loki to love [them]”, were “looking up new rituals I could use to try to marry Loki and become a godspouse” and that they were “overcome with jealousy” because they had read about another person’s detailed experiences with Loki.
I did write my own response to this, but TC member Darkhawk said it with way more eloquence than I ever could, so I am posting the entire response here (with permission):
Okay, first thing: back the everliving fuck up and get a grip. You sound like a teenager who wants to know what spells to use to get Tom Cruise to marry her (because hey, isn’t he single now?).
Once you’ve started to get your shit together, actually think about this. You want to have an intimate, mutually entwined relationship with a god. Do you actually have anything to offer that god? Because those kinds of relationships are fucking hard work, and if all you have to offer a god is desperation, you’re not worth marrying. At most, you’re a one-use bit of disposable tool, assuming that you can be aimed in a useful direction before you flame out. To those gods with a more malicious side – and Loki is certainly one of those, at times – you’re just begging to be used as a no-conditions chew toy, in that “It may be your purpose in life is to serve as an example for others” kind of way.
The northern Powers value strength, integrity, and competence. Stuff like this is not going to impress anyone. You’re doing the spiritual equivalent of covering the altar with filthy kleenex here, which is neither hospitable nor impressive. If you want a relationship like that, stop weeping and throwing your frailty at your god’s feet, stand up, and act like someone who might be worth having. Sobbing, writhing would-be consorts are useless, and very few gods will waste time on things that serve no function.
Before you go exploding in seething jealousy over people who have something you think you want, do some reading about what they have to do to hold up their end of the deal. Some people have to do the nun thing and remain celibate. Some have to do extensive, constant ritual work. Some are heavily hemmed in by taboos and will become sick if they disobey. There are codes of conduct, obligations of service, and other things that just come along with that particular gig like acorns come along with oak trees. They are not optional extras.
And no god is going to really put you in a position where you are signed up for those duties and obligations unless you’ve demonstrated that you have a capacity for doing them – that is, except if you’re being set up to fail. If you can’t do the work, you can’t get the job for real. Which means you’re better served getting over your desire and doing whatever self-work it will take to get yourself into a place where you can do whatever work your god will set you without crashing and burning. If you enter into an intimate devotional relationship with a god, it will not be about what you want, it will be about what furthers the work of that god and pleases him. What you want may be taken into consideration, but it will not be the top priority on the list.
Do your devotions. Dedicate yourself if you feel the need, though I would not recommend doing so while you’re doing the “I am obsessed with this movie star” thing. But – if you want some kind of reciprocal relationship – act like someone with something to contribute. One thing I know from people who deal with Loki on a regular basis: he won’t tolerate you lying to yourself.
I don’t think anything more needs to be said, honestly.