Deities Are Not Vending Machines

Before I start ranting, I just want everyone to know that I have a job interview on Wednesday, so good thoughts/prayers etc. would be appreciated. This could be the one!

So you-know-who is ever so pissed because now Freyr and Loki won’t talk to her. You know what? I might be completely wrong about this, but if someone happily praised me and my magnificent cock all day l0ng while spitting on my sister for being “loose” and then decided to spit on ME once someone shared the fact (if Loki can be believed) that I once slept with my sister, I’d be pretty pissed. I wouldn’t want to have a relationship with you either! (Some days I do think it would be nice to have a cock, though, especially a magnificent one.)

Oh, and there’s another important thing you have to realize, you-know-who….

DEITIES. ARE. NOT. VENDING. MACHINES!

You can’t just insert a coin and press a couple buttons and expect candy (or potato chips, or whatever) to pop out. Deities are not there to grant you three wishes in exchange for rubbing their lamps or to be your own personal “Yes Man” (or woman, or whichever term you prefer). All I can think is that you are FUCKING LUCKY that the Norse deities tapped you instead of, say, Sumerian deities WHO SPECIFICALLY CREATED HUMANS TO BE THEIR SERVANTS AND LABOUR FORCE! Seriously, if you moaned and whined about the Sumerian pantheon the way you do the Norse, those deities would KICK YOUR ASS AND TOSS YOU TO THE CURB before you could get a word in edgewise.

Shamash, Akkadian god of the sun, does not approve of your BS.

Here is the crux of the matter, you-know-who: you are like the millionaire who complains because they aren’t making billions, you are like the gamer who whines about being “poor” when they can afford the latest game consoles (which are a LUXURY ITEM), you are like the person who, upon receiving a bag full of Cadbury mini eggs, complains because there are no blue ones. In short, you are a spoiled, self-serving individual who, instead of using your gods-given gifts to help your community, chooses to hoard them like a greedy dragon hoards gold and other shiny things. Well, I have words for you:

FUS RO DAH!

I couldn’t resist saying that, I’m sorry, it was the perfect moment to say it. My point is, seriously, shut the fuck up. I’ve said this already in one of my very first posts here, but there are many of us who don’t have these gifts, who either have to bother friends or pay for their services. Yes, seriously, people pay for what you get for free. Would it kill you to have a little fucking humility?

I’m going to go write some more, maybe I’ll have one of the fantasy pantheon I’ve created rake one of their priest/esses over the coals for being snippy to regular folks, but I don’t like using my writing for evil like that.

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