Trigger Warning: Harassment, misogyny, general assholetry from random strangers.
Seriously, can we start a program where we launch people like this into the sun? Honestly, if reincarnation is real, I’d like it if every man could experience life as a woman. (Also, in my next life, I would like a cock, because I’m curious and if I’ve had one before, I don’t remember having it.)
So far, I’ve been very lucky. I almost never travel alone (and always with someone I trust), I never go out at night (again, unless I’m with someone) and on the off chance that my parents can’t drive me, I take a cab (I find traveling on buses difficult because of my disability). Cabs are expensive, but they are so worth it.
Still, even I have my stories to tell. No, none of them are as bad as the one I linked above, still creepy though.
Let’s start with what happened to me while I was shopping with mom at the dollar store a few weeks ago for a friend’s baby shower. I have no idea what was with this guy, but he wasn’t trying to hide that he was checking me out. The reason this is creepy is because:
a) I’m short
b) I look much younger than I actually am (see A)
c) I am not what most people would consider conventionally attractive
Now, I don’t want to assume anything of anyone, but given that I’ve been mistaken for elementary school age on multiple occasions (even prior to my graduation for my fucking masters degree), my impression of this person is not very favourable.
I caught him looking and shot him a glare that would have caused Freyr’s cock to drop off. Seriously, it was that withering.
I’ve been harassed online before by a guy who offered to pay me gold if my character stripped for him (I told him to fuck off) and one time when I went to pick up a bottle of ginger ale for my mom (she was sick with H1N1 that summer) some asshole told me to “get out of the way, fatty!” because I was walking across the street when I had the right of way (I gave him the finger). So, yeah, I hate people.
But anyways, back to that article.
If I am reading something in public, sometimes people will stop and ask what I am reading. In response, I usually tilt the cover so they can read the title. They usually say “Oh, that’s interesting,” or “Is it good?” and then I will answer the question and they will leave.
You know, like a decent person.
But you know what? I’m not obligated to give any stranger an answer to that question, and when you think about it, isn’t it kind of rude, just walking around asking people that question (unless, say, we’re both in a bookstore) I mean, really?
Guys, this is mostly for you: If a woman doesn’t respond to you when you ask her a question like that, don’t take it personally. You are probably very nice, but, see, women have to deal with a shitload of crap from random men, sometimes on a daily basis, and sometimes its safer not to engage men in conversation. You know what you can do to help? If you see another guy doing something like those guys did to that woman, SPEAK UP! Say: “Dude, back off!” or whatever. This is when we need the support of good people who don’t tolerate this kind of shit.
Also (though I don’t think I have to say this) NO. MEANS. NO.
I should do a whole post on this, but here’s the short version: NO DOES NOT MEAN YES.* NO DOES NOT MEAN “SURE YOU CAN SIT NEXT TO ME,” AND NO CERTAINLY DOES NOT MEAN “PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CALL ME TERRIBLE NAMES! NO MEANS NO!
The next post will be happier, I promise.
*There is ONE very specific instance where no can mean yes, and that is when you are having kinky sex with someone (in in some cases, more than one someone) whom you trust, and have EXPLICITLY spelled out what “no” means in context of whatever scene you’re doing, and even then, there are other ways to say NO and IT MEANS NO, STOP IMMEDIATELY. END OF DISCUSSION. THANK YOU FOR PLAYING, NOW FUCK OFF, like using safewords. Some people don’t use safewords, but the only people I know who don’t use them are all in committed, long term relationships of some sort (like, they’ve known each other for years), or are idiots, but mostly the former.
In a purely vanilla context though, NO NEVER MEANS YES. EVER.