Things I Learned from Skyfall….

[Racism, sexism and MAJOR spoilers ahoy!]

I just came back from seeing my first James Bond movie (because my biomom wanted to see a movie and she doesn’t like “cartoons”, srsly, WTF is up with that? Cartoons are fun!). Here is a brief list of things that I learned about life from Skyfall:

1) Black women can’t shoot.

2) Actually, women can’t shoot. Guns are for men, ladies, and don’t you forget it!

3) When you learn that someone was in the sex trade, it’s totally okay to boink her in the shower. (Especially if you’re in Macau, because we all know sex trafficking is the only thing that ever goes down there, ever.)

4) “It was a waste of good scotch.” is a perfectly acceptable reaction to the murder of said person mentioned in #3. I guess Bond is just cold like that.

5) In fact, the only thing black women seem to be good for is doing sexy shaving scenes /notstereotypical Oh, and desk jobs, no more field work for her, because apparently she’s not cut out for being in the field, see #1

6) Of course the old women dies at the end and a man takes over the secret service, as it should be. Amirite?

7) Oh wait, apparently black women are good at stomping on henchmen right as Bond’s about to get shot.

Seriously, I wasn’t really expecting much (and, to be fair, the action scenes are great, the sets are gorgeous, and the soundtrack is awesome, but WTF? Could you TRY to be more racist and sexist?

I need to go watch D.E.B.S or something, it’s corny and stupid, but at least it has lesbians in it.

One thought on “Things I Learned from Skyfall….

  1. I think it’s fair to say that a good portion of the James Bond fanbase enjoys the movies because they think of ’em as The Way Things Ought To Be (you know, studly he-man boinks lots of chicks without well-defined personalities), rather than simply a form of escapism.

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