When I was a youngster in Catholic school, I had a crush on St. Anthony of Padua. Yes, yes, I know, I’m a terrible person, crushing on a monk, sin of lust and all that. This was something I never really admitted to anyone. I mean like, WTF right? Right, so, needless to say, I got over this childhood infatuation pretty quickly (though I honestly find it hard not to look at paintings of Catholic saints and appreciate their very androgynous looks, except that one statue I saw once where the poor saint just looks stoned, but I digress).
Anyways, I’ve touched on this before, but I think it bears mentioning again. It’s perfectly normal and natural to love a deity, to passionately love a deity, and I know lots of people (even if only online) who love their deities. But then I see things like the one person who is like “how can I make Loki love me?” or the one who claims that they “love Apollo very much” and they just want to make him happy even if he doesn’t love them back, and I have to say that I think there’s a difference between being passionately devoted to a deity and, well, this kind of stalkerish infatuation, TBH, it sounds kind of….creepy.
Okay, full disclosure here, I always talk about how much of a Dionysus fangirl I am and maybe I’ve made comments re: Idunna in a way that suggests Perverse Sexual Lust (although, obviously the goddess is not a fictional character) but the truth is that I’d probably run for the hills if Dionysus ever showed any kind of interest in me and Idunna, actually, I don’t really see Idunna in a sexual way at all (jokes about “apples” aside), and yes, sometimes I do admit to being jealous because some people have very close relationships with deities, including as a lover or a spouse, and I want one too, but then I remember that not having a deity talking to you has a couple of distinct advantages, like, say, not doing something you would be uncomfortable doing because your deity wants you to do it. And I also think “I have trouble with human relationships, I do not want a relationship with someone that has godmode enabled all. the fucking. time.” The only time a deity has really expressed any interest in me was that dream I had with Njord, and he was teasing (at least, I don’t think anyone can wear the kind of grin he had plastered to his face and not be teasing) and that was a very odd dream.
So yeah, this whole post is just me admitting that I can be a creeper sometimes, good job Gef.
So, yeah, loving deities is perfectly normal and natural. I mean, if we didn’t have people who loved and were devoted to their deities, we would only have the kind of prayers that say “Give me stuff,” and such, but, you know, there’s love, and then there’s just being creepy, and now, because I try not to look like a massive hypocrite, I should try and not make comments about Idunna that could be interpreted as creepy, because that’s not nice, and I’d like to keep my health, and my muse.
If anyone needs me, I’ll be in my Grey Corner of Shame….