Questions

[Trigger warning: rape, some questions are NSFW]

Why is it that some people go on about how Loki had sex with a horse when Odin raped Rind?

Why is it that, in Harbardsmal, Odin (disguised as Harbard) remarks that he could have used Thor’s help in holding a woman down while he had his way with her and Thor says that he would have helped if he had been there?

Why is it that Loki gets in trouble for using trickery but when Odin does the exact same thing, it’s cool?

WTF did Hyrrokkin ever do to you, Thor? She just finished launching Balder’s funeral ship for you, and you wanted to smash her head in for accidentally setting something on fire?

Why is it that the same people are so eager to take apart the Balder-as-Christ-figure image when Loki-as-Satan is left untouched?

…..and then claim that Loki isn’t “the Norse Satan”?

….and no one seems to care if someone has Balder as a fulltrui?

When archaeologists unearth a figure wearing a dress and sporting a beard, why are some so quick to claim that the figure is Frigga in spite of the fact that references to Odin wearing a dress exist in the lore?

How come Heathens are generally conservative in North America but the faith in Iceland is associated with the left?

….and then conservative Asatruar say that liberals are doing it wrong?

…..Are the Icelanders doing it wrong, then?

Why is it that some recons assume that non-recons don’t pay any attention to scholarship, or else they’d obviously be recon? And why does that sound suspiciously like when Catholics say “if you understood the Bible properly, you would be Catholic, of course”?

Just to mix it up, why are there Hellenic recons who state that “the Greeks didn’t do magic!”….when actual scholars were busy studying that very topic for years?

Why is it that some recons are butthurt when non-recons are having profound experiences involving their gods?

Do they own the copyright or something?Is it stamped on their butts or what?

(Not that I would use that excuse to check out a deity’s ass, mind you.)

Just to turn things around, why did my “atheist Druid” colleague in university claim that “if you are Pagan, you harm none”?

WTF?

I swear, she was a very good student!

Why is it that I see non-Wiccans talking about having a patron god and goddess? Is it really necessary to have a matched set?

For that matter, why are so many people convinced that they *need* a patron deity?

Why do we use the term “religion with homework”? Seriously, does anyone actually LIKE homework? I suppose “religion with reading” implies that no one else does a lot of reading, though.

How can a hard polytheist believe in deities with their own personalities, but acts butthurt when those deities (with their own agendas) decide to talk to someone who a) isn’t a hard recon, b) isn’t a recon or c) isn’t even Pagan in the first place?

Why do some people behave as if you need a doctorate to practice a religion when the people who actually practiced the religion probably weren’t even literate?

How can someone be so appreciative of Freyr, and then turn around and call Freyja all kinds of names?

Oh, I get it, his penis must be very distracting….

How can someone be so against divorce when Skadi and Njord parted over irreconcilable differences?

Why do Heathen men (in particular) like to insist upon “traditional gender roles” and then worship a goddess who puts on armor and scares the gods so badly that they’d rather placate her than go to war with her, a single mother (though this is actually debatable) who has sex with whomever she wants (and a father who actually enables her) two gods who have cross-dressed, one god who has given birth (although, I suppose these same people say that he isn’t a god).

Why do people always drag out the “my Kindred is headed by a woman” line when someone talks about sexism/misogyny in Heathenry? One thing does not negate the other.

Why do people seem to assume that black Pagans must be involved with ATRs or diasporic religions like Vodou when no one makes such silly assumptions regarding white Pagans?

Oh, right, racism, and here I thought modern Paganisms were more accepting.

Why do people feel like it’s okay to call Lokeans fanboys or fangirls because of Marvel’s Loki but no one seems to feel the same way about Marvel Thor?

If the gods hate the jotnar so much, why do they keep going to them for knowledge?

….or marrying them?

Sounds kind of passive-aggressive.

And yet most of them are descended from jotnar…

Their family reunions must suck.

Why is it that the same people who whine about how certain people are “bringing on Ragnarok” talk about how Ragnarok is obviously the Book of Revelations with Vikings?

Either they’re bringing on Ragnarok or Ragnarok doesn’t exist, you fools. PICK ONE!

On a completely unrelated note, if there’s no “one true way” to be kinky, why the fuck is “topping from the bottom” even an issue?

Seriously, are these people in a relationship with you? No, then shut up about it.

Why are novice Dom/mes always surprised when a sub tells them to “fuck off”?  I’m sorry, did you automatically replace “sub” with “doormat”?

Since when is the phrase “I’m not interested in D/s play,” interpreted as some sort of challenge?

There’s also nothing wrong with vanilla sex. “Vanilla” is not a swear word. If people are calling you mean and nasty names because you’re kinky, you call them assholes, not ‘nillas.

Why do people say that lesbians hate men?

Last I checked, “not wanting to sleep with men” does not mean “hates men”.

They just don’t want to sleep with you, that’s it.

Seriously.

How come everyone always asks me for advice on dating and relationships when I’ve never dated anyone?

Why do people think that I’ll get all offended if they drink in front of me because I don’t drink?

I don’t give a fuck.

Why do people still apologize to me when they swear in my presence?

They don’t do it when any other woman’s in the room….

(My standard reply? “No fucking problem!”)

Why is it that my mom actually defended same-sex marriage when her church lady friends brought it up but she still wants me to find “a nice husband”?

Why do people interpret “universalist” to mean “EVERYONE BE HEATHEN NAO!” ?

Literature snobbery, what’s up with that? I don’t care if none of my favourite books ever win awards, I still love them.

Once again, I am not a shaman, a spirit-worker, a seid-worker, a psychic, a priestess, a diviner, particularly dedicated to a deity, or very dedicated at all. I don’t even have any sort of permanent shrine or altar (though I would like one). I don’t have a doctorate in Germanic Studies (do you know how much a PhD. costs?!) and the only language I speak is English, though I can sometimes understand Spanish in movies without referring to the subtitles. I’m not that well-versed in the lore. I can’t quote chapter-and-verse of such and such poem.  No, I really don’t know how you’re supposed to deal when a deity proposes to you, all I can do is offer some common sense advice based on stuff I’ve heard from other people. (Apparently it’s not so common….) I love to debate even though I usually end up losing. I suppose if someone wants to give me a cool title, they can go ahead, but that doesn’t mean I won’t think it’s embarrassing.

I also suck at math. I really, really suck at math. As in, I can remember BEDMAS and how to estimate taxes, but not basic addition. Sometimes I wonder how I still manage to count. I like big words though, like lugubriousness (it means ‘scary’).

I just barely passed physics in high school.

Which reminds me, why did my teachers tell me “you will never need to use this math ever,” and then taught it to me anyways?

Why was collections development an optional course in library school but the one about how to give surveys wasn’t?

Why do I have this cold AGAIN?!

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2 thoughts on “Questions

  1. Ok that’s too much to get into I will say that most recipes call for vanilla. It’s pretty important and very tasty. It’s also the only edible orchid, which are amazing flowers. Math is about problem solving, that’s what my dad told me. I really do think in America anyways that being raised Christian and converting to Heathenry messes with people. They need that lore to be right so they are right. I actually ran from that and love the way I experience the gods now. Its’ sad they might not get that. Reading is an escape, sometimes it’s fruitful sometimes it fun. I hope those were not all rhetorical. lol.

    1. The thing with vanilla is that it smells great, but it tastes awful, it’s one of those evil little extracts that seduces you with it’s lovely scent and then you try it and you’re like WHY DID I DO THAT?!

      It’s also great as a flavour of ice cream because you can put all kinds of stuff on it. If you put too much stuff on chocolate (IMO) it almost seems like too much.
      But apart from cases of actual abuse, I don’t approve of anyone (kinkster or not) putting people down because of stuff they do in the bedroom.

      My dad is infuriating, because he can look at a math problem, tell me that the answer is two, and then leave me to get the answer by going the long way, but he could NEVER, EVER show me how to do the work. EVER. I wish I had his brain.

      Most of them were rhetorical, but you can still answer them, if you like. Although, I suspect you could answer most of them with “People are stupid,” and you would be right.

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