OMGs Apostrophe Abuse….

[Potentially triggery for homophobic language, general warning for truly terrible grammar and spelling, including severe abuse of the apostrophe]

From that list, I’m a….

Lesbian

Feminist

Pervert

Pagan

which would probably make me an idolator

“Loud mouth” woman (but only on the Internet, irl I’m so quiet you wouldn’t recognize me).

Liberal

…but WTF is a “high fullutent”?  Is that like anti-jerkass spray, or something?

What’s a P.K.? Are they against Player Killing, because I am totally against non-consensual PvP in my MMORPGs, unless he means “someone from Pakistan” and that’s a whole ‘nother form of bigotry.

And I love the devil because Hell is obviously where I’m going to find all the hot, loud-mouthed lady perverts.

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7 thoughts on “OMGs Apostrophe Abuse….

  1. That poor, innocent apostrophe.

    Omgoddess, are you going to Hell, too? I’ll be the one wearing a virgin’s sacrificial robe and a ring with a turquoise stone set in it. It’s gonna be one awesome party. Just don’t forget to say hi. 🙂

    1. Waitaminute, no one told me anything about being sacrificed! Unless “sacrificed” is code for “being screwed ’til your eyes pop out of your skull” in which case, yes please sign me up. I’ve heard demons are, well, demons, in the sack. 😛 And, you know, if I had to, I could take a couple hits for the team, only a couple though.

      I recall when Beliefnet was actually cool that a bunch of us were organizing a barbeque in Hell when we all were sent there. We had it all planned out: someone was bringing the potato chips, other people were bringing drinks, potato salad, quiche, we had a list of stuff we were going to bring.

      1. Gotta use those code words so the Apostrophers aren’t offended. 😉 I’m sure your offer to take a couple hits for the team will be accepted as soon as we arrive.

        Ah, yes. BeliefNet. Once upon a time that site actually had good information. Now it’s mostly junk.

  2. I’ve been puzzling and puzzling upon what ‘high fullutent’ could mean.

    And it has hit me just now:

    high·fa·lu·tin
    adjective \ˌhī-fə-ˈlü-tən\
    Definition of HIGHFALUTIN
    1: pretentious, fancy
    2: expressed in or marked by the use of high-flown bombastic language : pompous

    (If I were Trixie, I’d say that Loki told me *just now*…but I’m not Trixie, so I can thank one of my sockpuppet vocabulary whores –who live in my brain — for my splendid recall of ‘highfalutin’ this AM. )

    (Besides, Loki hasn’t had His coffee yet.)

    Also, love your comment about “And I love the devil because Hell is obviously where I’m going to find all the hot, loud-mouthed lady perverts.”

    In that regard, Hell does sound like a lovely place for me.

  3. This reminds me of a multi-page flyer that used to appear with some regularity on the windshields of cars at my university. The front page had, in giant screaming letters, “WARNING! NUCLEAR WAR IS LIKE A PICNIC COMPARED TO THE FLAMES OF HELL!” Subsequent pages offered a list much like the one above of what kinds of people were supposed to be going to hell, like “women teaching men” and “women working outside the home” and “false evolution lovers.” The purveyors of this flyer drove around in a camper literally covered with inch-high letters with more rambling on Jesus and the things God supposedly finds hellworthy. It was noteworthy even in a town filled brimful with evangelists, holy rollers, and people who would cross the street to wave a Bible in your face if you looked like you might be a “devil worshiper.”

    1. And now I have this idea in my head that my UF protagonist visits hell and finds one of his friends there, and he’s all “Dude, shouldn’t you be in Hel, with one ‘L’?”
      And the guy’s like “Are you KIDDING me?! Please don’t tell them I’m here, Scott! Have you SEEN the girls here?! Oh wait, you’re gay–have you SEEN the guys here?! We have pig roasts every night and there’s plenty of beer, and, man, the sex….dead folks don’t need to worry about positioning, you know?”
      “Yeah, but you really should be–”
      “DON’T TELL THEM I’M HERE, DAMMIT!”

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