Dear Trixie….

Okay, you know what? I wasn’t going to respond to your latest OMFGs LOKI HAS ABANDONED ME! thing, because it’s just giving you the attention you so desperately crave from others. Maybe you’re reading this right now, secretly soaking up the attention like a particularly obnoxious sponge.

Maybe it’s harsh of me to say this, but at this point, I don’t care anymore. The gloves are fucking coming off, right now.

You know what? If there’s any justice in the world, I wish you could experience what I do, every day, for a month. No godphone, no awareness of anything aside from the world you can experience with your five senses.  When you pray, it feels like you’re talking to yourself, and half the time you wonder “What’s the point of doing a ritual if I feel like no one’s listening?”

Oh, how I wish you could feel as I do, always one step away from declaring yourself an atheist, from thinking that you’re the only sane person in the world and everyone else around you is some flavour of crazy. You might hear some Pagans talk about things, and you just think “You know, there’s a perfectly rational explanation for that,” but you don’t say anything, because you trust they know their experiences better than you do. Do you ever look at your bookshelves and think “Man, what if all this Pagan stuff is really fake. Look at all the money I wasted!”

Oh, and if you have really nice friends, maybe they’ll do a little divination for you, give a bit of reassurance to your godphoneless self, but good luck paying for it. (If you ask really nicely, some of them will give you a freebie, but everyone has to eat sometime.)

On top of that, you’ll have to deal with whiny entitled dipshits who cry because their deity turned their back to look after someone else for ONE SECOND.

You know what? You kind of remind me of the dialogue between Master and slave joke (NSFW) where the deity is the Master in this case. Even if it’s not the best analogy, it’s funny. I also like the BDSM lies one, which….has a bit of truth to it…sadly….

Anyways, I digress….

And then there’s that small, annoying voice that says: “You could just walk away. Leave your groups and fora, let the blog fade away. I mean, you have no proof, why waste time talking to yourself when you could be doing something more productive?”

Assuming that the “deities” you talk to aren’t just your own mental sockpuppets, if there’s any justice in the world, I wish you could experience the sort of thing I do, every day. I’m being nice here by only suggesting a month, but you know, I’ve been doing this for years, surely there are many others who have been doing it for a lot longer.

Just once, I wish I could say to you: How does it feel to know how I feel every day? HOW DOES IT FEEL, BITCH? HOW. DOES. IT. FEEL? You have no idea how much I want to say it, but some part of me–the part that’s still capable of rational thought–knows that it probably wouldn’t help, and I’d probably get in trouble.

I hope now you’ll understand why your whining, your pantheon-switching, your complete and utter disloyalty to any of your deities SERIOUSLY pisses me off, but you know what? I’m not holding my breath that you’ll ever change, because even though many of us have given you great advice (and thank you to the person who suggested therapy–you know who you are–but I don’t think it’ll do any good) there’s just no admitting that you *might* have some issues.

Of course, I could just block you, but I have this other little voice in my head, the one that whispers about how fun it is to watch a train wreck.

Walk a mile in my shoes, you probably won’t like it, but it’ll be good for you. (Oh, and my feet are small, good luck fitting into my shoes.)

 

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8 thoughts on “Dear Trixie….

  1. Reblogged this on The Ravens Breath and commented:
    I have ranted on trixie myself a few times and be sure the twit has done more than anyones share of attention whoring. This post sums up very nicely since Trixie has blocked anyone and everyone that dares tell her what she does not want to hear. but the bottom line for me is really very simple…. For at least half a dozen of the other people that see her AWing that i speak to regularly the truth is that we see her drivel and behind us we have the subject of her mindless BS ranting at the top of his fury and that is the bigger reason that I rant about her…

    in closing… DEAR TRIXIE, STFU,and GTFH

  2. I hope you never reach a point you give up. Your insight is always on target and you are more spiritual in most ways than those with the godphone. I don’t know Trixie but she sound very childish. You adult approach, whether or not you feel anything, is appreciated I am sure by the gods.

  3. Most powerful! I can’t say that I’m walking in your shoes (for one thing, I’m a size 10US), but I’m certainly walking along side you. Also, who is this Trixie? Every time I see her name, I flash to Trix cereal commercials.

    1. She’s named after “The Great and Powerful Trixie” from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, a unicorn (magic-using ponies) who dupes everyone into thinking she has great magic powers when she really…doesn’t….

      She is a person I have encountered on FB and elsewhere who can’t seem to make up her mind, who bashes Freyja for being a “slut” and then turns around and says “Ooh I should work with Freyja she’s cool, and I’m attracted to her in spite of the fact that I really hate that I’m attracted to real women.” Not that there’s anything wrong with being attracted to Freyja, it’s how she turns around and yells “SLUT!”….

      ….when she’s talking to a group of Vanatruar.

      Yeah, I don’t go around calling Odin an asshole in front of Odinists (though I call plenty of Odinists assholes). TBH, I don’t know if I’d want her around if I was doing anything Freyja-related, I might not have a godphone, but I still have common sense, and I don’t think that would be a very good idea, at all.

      1. If Trixie is who I think she is, I almost had a panic attack when I heard she was thinking of switching to the Greek pantheon… Just sayin’.

        I count myself lucky when I get any kind of response from the Gods. And when I do, its almost always something that could be explained away, I have to trust my intuition that it’s Them. I don’t exactly envy people with a “godphone,” but it would certainly make some things easier.

  4. This is why I have her blocked. For my own mental health. She needs help she really does. I have no godphone much like the writer of this blog. I just hope that I am being listened too. I get flashes of feelings but words, not often and only in dreams and even than do I always recognize that it was them in dreams, no. I do what I do because I have faith. They need our love and devotion and for us to stand on our own two feet. Our gods no matter what gods you follow; have a ton of followers. They need to look after their people. Their people is not one person but many.

    Thank you for writing this. I feel the same as you. I just have her blocked for she was not doing my mental health any good. Trixie is a trainwreak.

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