Moments of Gaming WTFery

….when playing any Fire Emblem game, a character with a 0% percent chance of scoring a critical hit scores a critical hit

…. which is why Frederick’s new nickname is now “Magic Great Knight Frederick” because he somehow managed to defy the RNG and land a critical hit

….when you first summon a Persona in Persona 3

….and your brother happens to be watching, and says “Are those kids killing themselves?!”

….My pet theory is that they’re symbolically “killing” their personalities to make way for their personae, but I like the not-so-subtle nod to the high suicide rate in Japanese high schools, or the shock value, there’s the shock value

….the ending of Assassin’s Creed 2

….when the final boss of Final Fantasy IX comes out of NOWHERE

….whenever you can describe a game in this way: “So there’s a secret hour between one day in the next in which everyone ends up in coffins, and then you get to your dorm and a strange boy wants you to sign a contract.”

….ditto for “The characters enter a TV in order to solve a murder mystery.”

…and there’s a cross-dressing competition

…and terrible bear-based puns

….everything Dante does in Devil May Cry 3, every. single. thing.

….why does the boss get infinite MP and I don’t?

….why does the boss get to attack twice and I don’t?

….why do bosses get to break the rules and I don’t?

….when one tiny mistake results in complete and utter annihilation

…but when you forget that your enemies reflect fire damage, that’s just you being dumb

…when you suddenly realize that the dialogue in the JRPG you’re playing doesn’t make any sense

…but you’re enjoying the story anyways

…when you’ve figured out who the killer is ages ago and you wonder why it takes the characters this long to figure it out

….especially when one of them is a detective

….when you reach the Fade sequence in Dragon Age: Origins

….seriously, I’ve already been there once as a Mage, I should’ve gotten to skip it

….when you find out how Broodmothers are made (“First day they come and catch everyone….”) *shudders*

….the issue in the bathroom in Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey

….also, Anthony, just, Anthony

….and the quest involving Yggdrasil

….when you answer a Pixie’s innocuous question and she replies with (and I quote) “You shouldn’t be talking to little girls like that, pervert!”

….Seriously, demon conversations are weird in Strange Journey

….when Pokemon trainers say creepy things

….the way the priest of Melitele dies in the second Witcher game

…for that matter, Dethmold’s final scene (MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING for homophobia, violence, DO NOT LOOK AT THE COMMENTS!) in Roche’s path (not that I was expecting much of The Witcher, but this scene in particular is disgustingly homophobic)

….you know what? Pretty much every single antagonist in the Witcher series is a walking pile of WTFery

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