Ever See a Stupid Review on Amazon

….and wish there was a site that compiled them for your amusement?

I asked the Internet if there was such a thing, and the Internet dumped this site in my lap:

Least Helpful

The best part about this site is that you can sort it by your favourite form of idiocy, so if you only want the homophobic ones, click that category.

I have been laughing my ass off since yesterday.

There’s also Stupid Amazon Reviews, where I found this little gem:

Cutting Off Layton’s Little Protrusion¬† (it’s SFW, don’t worry)

in which a very confused person doesn’t understand why the cartridge for a 3DS game doesn’t fit in their regular DS. Read it and despair!

And since I brought it up, here is my current favourite least helpful review for Swordspoint (potentially triggery for homophobia):

Lable me naive, but when I picked up this book I did not know that it featured a gay couple. Lable me politically incorrect as well, but I have to admit that this was uncomfortable for me as I was half way through the book before I relized the two main charactors (Richard and Alec) were a couple and I had already come to care about what happened to their charactors. Kushner has a great warm style, and I’d love to read any book of her’s. About a HETEROSEXUAL person, thank you very much (you know guy+girl instead of, well, guy+guy). The plot was good and the story was interesting, but I just couldn’t get past their sexual orientation:( Maybe this won’t be a problem for some people, but I personaly couldn’t enjoy it.

Wait so, it took you until halfway through the book to realize that teh ghey was in it? Did you miss chapter four? Here, I’ll quote it for you:

He came up behind Lord Horn, sliding his hands onto the man’s shoulders. Horn took his hands and seemed to wait. Touched by the formality of their moves, Michael turned him in his arms and kissed his mouth. He tasted spices. The man had been chewing fennel seeds for his breath The expert tongue flicked eagerly. Michael pressed closer. “Lydia’s eldest,” Horn murmured. “You have grown up.” With nothing between them but the costly fabric of their clothes, Michael felt the man’s need, twin to his own. Over the roar of blood he heard the ticking of the clock.

That’s on page thirty seven, that’s not even a quarter of the way through the book.

Also, I love how the reviewer feels the need to spell out exactly what heterosexuality is as if the author has no idea.

Oh, and Ellen Kushner is a lesbian.

Spelling aside, basically, what this reviewer is saying is that they would read her books as long as she doesn’t write about people like her.

That makes so much sense.

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