This Exists: Scarlet Blade

[The following discusses a game that is definitely NSFW. I won’t post any screenshots here, but for the love of gods, don’t Google it at work.]

This afternoon, I played a bit of Scarlet Blade, an adult’s-only sci fi MMORPG from Aeria Games, because every so often I get the urge to do some mindless grinding alongside other people who are also doing mindless grinding.

Let’s see, how do I sum up this game in one sentence? In Scarlet Blade, you play as sexy just-barely-clothed cyborg warrior women on a quest to save the world….or something. Actually, technically you play as the Commander of one of these cyborg warrior women (known as Arkana) but in practice you’ll basically be staring at your Arkana’s naked ass the whole game anyways. It’s interesting that the game was originally called Queens Blade, but they had to change it for release here due to the Queen’s Blade anime–which is basically more of the same thing.

Yeah, that’s where the adults-only thing comes in. Basically, you have a choice of three kinds of outfits: the skimpy outfit, the very skimpy outfit, and the very outlandish skimpy outfit.

I could go on and on about how sexist this game is, but the thing is, this game is just so ridiculously over the top about it that I can’t find it in me to be offended by it. It’s a game for boys men who can’t seem to get over the fact that “LOLZ wimmins have teh BOOBIES!” I’m all for having more “adult-oriented” content in games, including nudity, but the thing is that the industry doesn’t yet know how to do it without being juvenile about it (and, really, will we ever be able to have nudity in a game where someone doesn’t complain about how stupid it is?). The problem isn’t sex and nudity itself, but the way its presented.

But I’m sure you already know that. This is me preaching to the choir.

And there’s something kind of subversive about the fact that I, a lesbian, am traipsing through the game world with my Whipper (yep, just what it sounds like) class Arkana Melusine being very appreciative of straight men playing as warrior women in clothes that only meet the bare minimum requirements to be classified as clothing. Now who is being objectified, boys?

Also, I keep imagining a male equivalent of this game with male avatars who run around in nothing but jock straps, like if someone decided to turn Wraeththu into an MMORPG.

I’d play a Wraeththu MMORPG.

So, other than the nudity, there’s an actual story to read through, but TBH, once everyone gets tired of all the boobage, Scarlet Blade is going to go where all the other MMORPGs that aren’t WoW go: off the radar.

Anyways, the game is free-to-play, so if you’re really curious (and your computer can handle it) there’s no harm in giving it a look, but really, all you need to know is BOOBIES!

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