No, Just No.

The tumblr Pagan tag is a source of endless entertainment and frustration for me, but mostly entertainment. Today, I found this graphic:

I have no words for this.

Actually, I have a couple:

“Ishtar” is pronounced “Ish-tar”, this is the way my professor pronounced it, and I trust his judgement, because he, you know, studies this stuff for a living.

ERMEGERD CONSTANTINE! For the love of everything, Constantine didn’t have anything to do with determining the date of Easter or the meaning of Easter or anything like that, THAT debate wasn’t resolved for AGES after Constantine.

Bunnies? Try lions.

I love how this graphic uses “fertility and sex” as if they’re a matched set. I’m sure it might surprise some of these people to learn that songs like “Ishtar will not tire” exist, which have nothing to do with fertility and everything to do with the goddess fucking a whole lot of men near the wall of the city. Why? Because she wants to. (And she’s the goddess of prostitutes, they prayed to her for customers.)

Honestly, why am I even responding to this? Everyone reading this knows that its stupid.

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6 thoughts on “No, Just No.

  1. I wrote a huge wall of text on my facebook about how wrong that thing was.

    And yeah, Easter? Try Anglo-Saxon, Norse, and Slavic traditions. Not Babylonian or Neo-Assyrian ones.

    You’re no doubt all too familiar with the myth of Ishtar’s descent into Kur-nu-gi-a to visit Ereshkigal — which was a very stupid decision as we can all agree.

    For everyone else who might be reading that isn’t, Ishtar gained access to the Underworld this one time, and Ereshkigal was pissed. Ereshkigal hated Her and/or was offended by Ishtar and thus captured and tortured Her there. Which led to there being no sex anywhere on Earth, and Papsukkal and Sin freaked the hell out since everything was dying, and Ea had to make a eunuch and do a male-prostitution-prisoner-exchange-thingy. (Personally, I find it hilarious that male prostitution/male sex slavery was the solution to all problems in this myth. Go, Ea.) Ishtar was returned, people started having sex again, and Ereshkigal was forever pissed because the eunuch She got couldn’t give Her the sweet, hot dickings She was expecting (which I don’t understand, since the removal of testicles doesn’t mean that the penis is gone and such. Anyway). Yadda yadda.

    A metaphor for the transition from winter (Ishtar being trapped in the Underworld) to spring (when Ishtar returned)? Arguably so. Easily can be construed that way. But absolutely NOTHING to do with eggs, bunnies, and Easter. Where the hell did the makers of that graphic get THAT outlandish notion from!?

    At any rate, thank you for being a rational, knowledgeable human being who makes me feel not-alone in these and similar frustrations, and yay truthiness!

  2. This was perpetrated either by someone really dumb, or a half-decent troll. Either way, I’m laughing. ‘cuz it’s either laughter, tears, or rage, and the last two don’t feel as nice. :3

    This is just one reason why I don’t hang out on Tumblr, by the way.

  3. That image often gets referred to as Lilith, but I hear scholars are pretty sure it’s actually Inanna/Ishtar, so at least they got that right, I guess.

    1. Actually, I heard recently that some think it may be a representation of Ereshkigal. The statue is painted red, which I understand is kind of unusual for a goddess like Inanna/Ishtar, but she IS a war goddess, so I wouldn’t be surprised if her statues depicted her as if she was covered in blood.

  4. First I was shocked at the amount of asshatery. Then I was horrified that someone actually destroyed a perfectly good image with that insanity. Then I started laughing. Seriously, that shit is hillarious. I’m hoping the person was tripping balls from an overdose of easter chocolate eggs/bunnies.

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